Thursday, October 30, 2008

The USA vs. Europe

t tn Europe:
Five things that the United States does better than Europe:
1. Mountain Dew
1. Mountain Dew.
In the United States, it comes in abundance – over here, we have only seen it once. This cultural shortcoming is self-evident, and raises serious questions about the progressive nature of European society. Here you can see a can that we found in Sweden . . . Keith is saving it for his birthday.
m
2. Visible landmarks.
Granted, the USA has relatively few historic sites; nonetheless, we generally maintain them without hideous cloaks of scaffolding. In Europe, we have discovered that at least 80% (no exaggeration) of the most significant buildings are being repaired and renovated at a pace that will surely last for another 500 years. The most disappointing was the fairy-tale castle Neuschwanstein – we had to hike a long way, in order to get the picture below!

3. Public air. m
In the United States, we have a decreasing number of truly heavy smokers. Europe still hangs in a nicotine cloud, however, because each person is required (by law) to smoke at least four packs a day. In many cities, they are also required to blow their smoke into the faces of tourists.
m
4. Laws against stealing things.
In the United States, it is illegal to grab somebody’s purse and run with it. It’s illegal in Europe, of course, but . . . if it happens to you . . . don’t expect the police to share your outrage.
m
5. Public Facilities.
Europeans have a keen eye for business opportunities, but there are certain moments when you don’t want to be fumbling for a Euro. If there was ever a justifiable reason for American military intervention overseas, it would be the “pay toilet.”
m
Five things that Europe does better than the United States:
1. Chocolate.m
We have chocolate back home, of course, but Europe appears to have more. In many neighborhoods, houses are built with Alpenmilch Schokolade, and the streets are frequently flavored with hazelnuts. It is a very good thing.
m
2. Well-behaved dogs. Austrians, in particular, take their dogs everywhere – to the store, on the train, and through the city. Sometimes they come with Beißkorb and Leine, but they hardly ever make a sound, and they seem to know all the rules of canine etiquette. It’s horribly charming.
m
3. The capacity for rest.
At first, this can be pretty annoying – when you go to the store at 8:30 pm, you might expect the place to be humming with shoppers. People here, however, don’t seem to be driven by the lust for excess, and they work with a certain kind of Sabbath principle. Stores close early on Saturday, and most of them stay shut until Monday.
m
4. Languages.
Most Europeans speak more than one language, and they do it with remarkable ease. People frequently know a little English, even if they pretend otherwise! Signs are written in several languages, and nobody seems to be particularly insecure about protecting their linguistic preferences.
m5. Mass transit. m
This is the subject for another blog, but it definitely belongs on our “best of Europe” list. While we were in London, we got used to "minding the gap" between the train and the platform . . . every city, however, seems to have a mass transit system, and the networks of tunnels are absolutely everywhere. Rail travel is easy, it is clean, and it takes trillions of people off the roads. The USA needs to get on board this train!
m

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Anonymous said...

I really enjoy your blogs! I DO hope that you did not experience the "purse snatching problem" first hand!

mamallama said...

lol. I completely agree with your comparisons! Hope you are all having a wonderful time.

Rebekah said...

Very funny! Here's to Mountain-Dew filled days and yappy dogs!

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